That
I should walk away
But
I didn’t
I
let you in
Gave
you a little bit of me
You
didn’t notice
The
little bit I put out for you
I
guess it wasn’t shiny enough
To
get your attention
Your
door was always closed
I
thought then
Because
you were closed-off
Played
your cards close to your chest
How
can I have been so wrong?
I
was so wrong
About
you
I
was so wrong
I
didn’t see it
Then
I
thought
Hoped
Wanted
So
much for your door to be closed
For
other reasons
I
didn’t see it
I
believed
You
were
Who
I thought you
Wanted
so much for you to
Be
But
I
see now
It
was closed
It
is closed
Because
there was nothing behind it
There
is nothing behind it
For
me
I
wasn’t shiny enough
I
am not shiny enough
I
will never be shiny enough
For
you
Again
and again
I
let you in
They
say
Insanity
is doing the same thing
Over
and over
And
expecting a different result
I
am insane
I
expected a different result
I
hoped for a different result
Again
and again
Until
Until
A
moment in time
Such
a teeny tiny moment
A
mere blip
That
moment
When
someone stabs you
Through
the heart
Sometimes
you don’t feel it right away
Sometimes
you laugh
Make
a joke
Act
the smartass
And
then
A
bit later
Perhaps
even just as you stop laughing
You
realise
You
get it
You
fucking GET IT
That
is when it stabs you
That
is when you feel it
That
is when suddenly
You
see it
You
see him
You
SEE him
I
see you
And
that is when you bleed
As
it leaks out of you
Warm
and wet
It
is full of things you want to disown
Things
you wish weren’t inside
Things
you wish you could take back
Things
I wish I could take back
I
wish
I
cared about you
I
fucking CARED about you
I
loved you
No
I
loved what I thought was you
The
idea I painted in my mind
Inside
myself
Of
the man I thought
I
hoped so much
You
were
Not
And
you
So
carelessly
So
nonchalantly
Tore
me open
Right
open
You
don't even seen the wound
You
don’t even see the wound
You
don’t see
Anything
All
the little bits
Small
pieces I never ever shared with you
How
do you know?
How
do you fucking KNOW?
How
to hurt me so much
To
scar in a way not many can
To
cut me in a way I had forgotten
I
could be
Cut
into
Take
all those slivers
Of
everything I fear
Of
everything I hate
Of
everything
Take
them
Put
them down
In
front of you
Look
at them
Probably
not
Set
them alight
Walk
away
Don’t
look back
You
made a cut in me
You
can't take back
You
pierced the softest part of me
The
part I can’t cover with my armour
The
part I thought was
Covered
That
I thought you couldn't see
Didn't
know about
The
part that hurts the most
And
then I bleed
Then
I feel it
And
then
I
have been here before
If
I don’t tear you out
Of
me
If
I don’t take back
The
little bit
Of
me
That
I gave to you
That
you don’t want
That
you don’t even fucking KNOW
I
gave you
I
will be here again
Eventually
I will be here
Again
But
maybe
Maybe
If
I'm strong enough
If
I'm cold enough
I
won’t
Maybe
I
won’t
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