Dreams Can Hurt Too

I haven’t thought about you
For the longest time

It used to be an
All-the-time thing
Now it's a
Not-really-at-all thing

Then I dreamt
About you

I dreamt
I went to your work
I don’t even know where that is
But in my dream
I do

So
I go in
On the pretence of having business
On the pretence of not seeing you

I pretend not to see you
Of course
I pretend

You look different
I think
But it's you
I like how you look
Now
As if I would ever
Not like you
I would always
Like you
I would

You pretend not to see me

So many glances
Out of the corners of eyes

Then I leave
I no longer have a reason to stay
To be
In the same place as you

Outside
I wait around
Outside the entrance
By the lift
Pretending the lift hasn’t come
I haven’t pushed the button
Not yet
Just in case
But
I pretend

And then you come out
I'm so hopeful
No I'm not
I pretend I'm not

You pretend you have reason to be there
Outside
Where I am

You pretend to suddenly notice me
And then
There are smiles
Creased faces
And teeth
Smiling faces
Smiling eyes
Eyes smiling
At each other
Not pretending
No more pretending
No more
Pretending

And I think
Really?

We go back inside
Sit down
Together
In the same place
You
And I
In the same place
And
I don’t want to feel
Excited
Hopeful
But slowly it creeps
Creeps inside

There is so much
There is
So much

Smiling

Then you reach for me

You
Reach
For me

Your hand closes around my wrist
And I remember your hands
My wrist so small

Your hand closes around my wrist
Tight

And you pull me towards you

I sit up in my bed
Awake